Wednesday, November 15, 2017

I'm back!

Back to animating and back to drawing and being artsy
Apparently being miserable really contributes to drawing. I'm the type to sketch my feelings out, and I guess lots of people are, since there's ventart. So it started out like that and now I'm really planning on doing more and more.
My life got to a point where drawing was the best part of my day, I had nothing else to look forward to. I guess I should have relalized sooner that something was not right. It started dragging a bit and I was just torturing myself. Luckily my supporting personnel (mom and grandma) helped me through it and so I decided to put a stop on school. It was literally driving me mad.

So through my hardships I started drawing again, now trying to ''master'' digital drawing. In my last ''period of drawing more'' (2016 feb-april) I did grayscale sketch drawings mainly. A lot of them were darker themed, but I did get to practice a lot and I enjoyed what I did. And there was a small revolution, I started drawing humans. Or more like anime styled characters and people. So I actually have evolved since my last post here.

Lets see, my last known breakthroughs were summer of 2015 when I took on two Map projects (and only finished one). Got too far ahead of myself. Later that year I was trying to finish the Heroes Map but failed miserably. At least I put together something of a video.
Then the second boom of art, drawing grayscale ventart and slowly trying to draw hoomans! Oh my gosh I would have not seen that coming. I shit you not.(this got out of hand way fast sorry)

ex 1
ex 2

This is what I did then

So we got the MAPs revolution
for animation
And the drawing thing
for drawing
AND now
I started trying to learn digital draws

(we'll see how well that goes)

So this has been what happened after my 2011 fallout (love naming these periods)
Of course I did draw inbetween 2011 and 2015 too, but it wasn't exactly revolutionary
Nothing clicked in my head or changed in my skills
2009 end to 2011 was my golden era (I was like 13-15 then lol)

It's kind of like the birth of jesus? I start counting major changes (or any activity at all really) from there hahah. Before ''my dawn of animation'', there was nothing, after it there was nothing as well... until there was SOMETHING (and those somethings are my revolutions woo)
too dramatic? pf

So where I wanted this introduction to my LIFE lead to, is now!
I'm kind of like a homeless cat at this point. Haven't lost hope, still searching for a life though, so that's positive at least. And yes I actually do have a home that was a figure of speech.
One day (a few days ago, a magical date 11.11) I watched a lot of MAPs and... wait let me correct myself. One night* I was watching MAPs and MAP parts and animated stuff and was deeply inspired and wanted to just test some movements and situations/reactions 'n so. SO I finally used my beloved tablet for animating after a long while. And now I'm in the middle of this:

Been long overdue, but I guess it was just the right moment at the same time. I can't force myself. I have to get inspired and actually feel that I want to do something.
That and time. Which I now have hahahhaha *starts sobbing*
No I'm kidding
I like it, I need it and I love it.
Just questioning my existence every now in a while

Either way it's progress! 
I'm really proud of what it is already, I like how i've managed to make it move smoothly. Having some trouble with wings, but mostly minor stuff only.
I havent decided if I'll leave it just a small-short practice clip or do a few more, like separate flying clips. OoOooOor go all big again and make more fly animations and connect these all and actually make that nameless one a character and make a BOOM comeback to youtube
Not sure if I'll pull through, but I could try?

Well I'll see about that. Slow and steady. 

WELP it's almost 4am again so. Fml and sayonara!
-Your friendly neighbourhood hobo

Monday, January 25, 2016

There is hope!!!! WoWoWo what? :3

I wrote here in the end of last year, saying that I'm feeling depressed about the WIP project I have going on. Well, this has suddenly changed this week. I decided to take it on and get on with it. Realized I really wanted to finish it and the host (musicpaw) actually cancelled the deadline. So I have more time than just to February. Tho I will certainly aim to finish it as soon as possible. Feeling motivated right now! Energy boost!
And you know what??? It's too late to draw or animate now! I have to go to sleep! I am finally setting my sleep schedule right. Oh godness, weeks ago I was up till 8a.m and even later. SO this is improvement. I'm moving it because school starts in a week and I can't be up all night. Otherwise I would gladly be up till like 4 a.m... no problem. Especially when I have inspiration to do something creative (like right now).
I started to put together a WIP project video (short) to show musicpaw what I've already done on the project. It's sooooo unfinished, but I can throw something together for her. So this will be uploaded to YT anytime soon. I don't know if I should include it here.
And btw I already said musicpaw that I will be giving up the second part because I will never make it in time. But then she threw away the deadline and now I want it back ._. yup xD... well actually I had a greaaat idea for the second part. I imagined it in my mind perfectly.. I didn't have that vision before, so this changed things. But I doubt I'll get it back. So I'll just finish the first part.

Sooo, today I drew something... with a tablet... over a looooong while.
I've sketched and drew all along, but only on paper. I haven't made anything on the computer for so long. And how did I get over that block thing again? TheAnimeman!
If you don't know him, he's a youtuber and I watch his videos. So, he's having a fanart contest and I had the greatest idea. I can't really draw humans that well, so I was thinking... what could I do that is within my reach....? I considered drawing Joey as a wolf, but that would have been completely random and nothing special. So I thought... what would be interesting. And Bam! ''I should reverse his avatar''... The cat mask would become a cat and the person would become a mask! Yes! That's what I'll do. I originally considered to draw Joey's own face, but threw that thought away. The complete reverse avatar thing was better.
So the idea is pretty good, but the drawing fails a little. Not dynamic and explosive enough.
I thought to add something YT related and anime related to that... buuut I didn't. I would have had to work so hard on that and it would have been so irrelevant in the end because almost EVERYONE did that and mine would've been so insignificant.
My program skills need development. I'm too left behind. And isn't that good for drawing. It's great for animation sketches and just rough sketches, but otherwise it stays a little short.

BUT I will show you (who stumbled here by mistake) my failure first hand! Here it is! Joey's avatar reversed! TheAnimeMan as a cat everybody!!!
He's cute. So, my criticism: The mask is on a weird angle... I didn't get the mask right. Never been good with clothes, so the suit looks funny. But based on my skills, it's alright in general. But the tie! It's not a tie! It's like a death-sword orsmthn... It looks completely wrong. But the quick shadowing I did turned out pretty okay. Now the cat, the cat I like. The left paw is on a weird angle but meh. Let it be.
And yes, the avatar is truly reversed. As the correct one has the mask on the right side of the face. This is so completely reversed, that even the mask changed poles lol...(it may or may not have been intentional)

The BG! I actually like it! Though it's very lazy. I kind of think this mysterious theme suits this pic. I could still redo it tomorrow... I dunno though. Having doubts.
It kinda looks like a spotlight of a wanted criminal xD Oooh, but it's cewl. I like it.
(P.S. I'll sort through my hand-drawn stuff tomorrow. Maybe I'll post a lil smth-smth to my Deviant..)

EDIT: I changed the bg later and it looked like this (better)
(open to see it bigger)

This is it for today. I'll keep ya posted (haha xD like I will)
Thank you for existing!
Don't forget to smile today!


Sunday, December 27, 2015

Hello world!

Basically anyone can accidentally stumble here, but I don't have any frequent visitors. Either way hello person who is currently reading this and thinking of leaving! I will still babble my own stuff, so you're free to do as you please.
Wow, am I moody? I guess.. feels weird.
Anyway it is 6am and I have to work tomorrow, but I can't go to sleep. I mean, I did feel sleepy somewhere near 1am, but it's long gone now. Which is awful because I love sleeping in general. But thanks to me being sleepless, this thing was born. Well, at least I update my blog a little. Since I don't write in the horse riding blogs at all anymore (because I quit). Yes, I do not ride anymore.
Actually I've been sleepless for over a month now because I'm living in our home currently. In February I'll be moving back to the dormitory. The thought alone irritates me, because I want to get out of there already. Luckily I'll finish school in June. I can't wait for that to be over. Well, Uni will be next, but that will be far better than that school. I am tired out by the people and life there. I just want to crawl onto my bed, find the darkest corner and hide under my blanket. I really do.
So, having more free time, living at home, celebrating the holidays a little.. I can allow myself to be up late because I am able to catch up on my sleep afterwards. ANYWAY this blog isn't supposed to be about me complaining and blabbering on about my weird life.

This would be the artsy part now!
The part that is actually the theme of this blog thing.
Finally huh? Okay...

As of now I have completely hit a brick wall with the Heroes project. I am thinking of giving up the second part because it is quite clear that I won't finish that. I am even having my doubts about the first part being finished since I have lost my motivation... I made it really complicated and dragged it along for too long, and bam... this happened. Actually this is typical for me. I either overdo it and make it too complicated (therefor it starts to drag and I lose interest) or I just lose interest over time. I am capable of focusing very much and I do have plenty of patience... but lack of motivation or inspiration is hard to overcome really.
Sitting here and pitying myself won't change anything for the better however. So I will make a last effort soon. Yet I'm afraid I'll give one part away. Oh I had such great plans for those two parts. It was all so amazing in my head. Oh well, you gotta know when to give up and move on. Can't just let it burden me forever.
As always, I've got a ton of things on my mind. Things to come, stuff I have to do, what I have to remember... plus all the random and philosophical thoughts that are daily visitors. And I basically have an existential crisis every week (if not often). My mind just decides to depress and make me wonder very frequently. It's interesting but also tiring.
Danisnotonfire talked about existential crises... before I saw his videos I didn't know what to call them. Now I know!

And I strayed off once again.
I should really draw something decent now! I haven't drawn something decent in a while. All just doodles and sketches. So this is something else to add to my ''to do'' list.

So, a recent update. Let's see how this Heroes project comes out, but hope for the best! I really do want to finish it. I worked so hard in the beginning, it would be foolish to just cast it aside. I must make an effort!!! No comfort zone for me! Getting stuck there far too often!
I just told musicpaw that I won't be able to finish my second part. I hope she(I think it's she) understands. There were fortunately enough backups, so there shouldn't be a problem with that.

Now it's all in my hands!
Bye random people!
After all I'm completely random too! So it's a great match, huh?

Here ya go, something christmasy to munch on!
Farewell to all! And to all a good night!
(pretty sure it didn't go like that)

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Dollhouse MAP part

Not amazing, but watchable I think :)
TTYL people :3


It's over! I have gotten over my art block!
I have always had ideas but now they are flowing again and I keep imagining different things to animate and draw. I have even had some ideas for music...
You know I once had a short cartoon idea.. the sort of short cartoon that you could show on TV or something like that. It was inspired from a music piece from the animated movie "Spirit stallion of the cimarron". And one night I started to get a vision of something that could play in the background. So, I imagined music... I do have the best ideas at night. Especially now... they just come. Actually there is a scientific meaning behind it, but that is not what I'm talking about right now.
What started this awakening? (nice expressions..)
My last sketch animation frame was drawn in the beginning of 2012. Even in 2011 I didn't animate as much as I used to. So.....that's atleast 3 years of art block. I did do something, but not much.
So how did I get over it? How did my artist side wake up?
This year Sweden won in the Eurovision song contest. I loved that song right from the beginning. If a song gets your imagination and creative juices flowing, you know it's good. So, THAT song is basically what got me into animating again.

I still always went on youtube and occasionally some animations and MAP projects popped up (since I have subscribed to awesome animators). So, I noticed some amazing MAPs and nice animations there.
One day I went to youtube and searched 'We are the heroes open MAP'. And to my surprise I found one! It just was so perfect! A few parts had been taken... I was so intrigued. I had to.. I just had to.
I had my thousand doubts and then decided to go for it. I asked for a part.
And since the host didn't answer me right away, but a week after I asked. I became curious and started to look trough different MAP projects. I found them interesting and compelling. I had my eye on lots of open MAPs and then asked for a part in two more! Crazy right?
I already asked for two parts in the heroes MAP, and now this?
One of them was really crammed so there wasn't much of a chance there anyway. But the other wasn't, and the part was short (7 seconds). I got that part! And in the meanwhile I got an answer on the Heroes MAP part also. I got it also!
Now I got two MAP parts in my hands, and I hadn't animated in so long...
Then I just took my tablet and started with my Dollhouse MAP part, because that was shorter. I finished it about 3 weeks ago. If I had animated every day, I would have finished much sooner. But I do have a life. And during that time I went horse riding a lot.
I was quite satisfied with the result. Then started to work on my Heroes MAP part (18 sec). It went really well and I got much sketching done. So, something had to go wrong, right? And it did.... I managed to drop my computer. It didn't get serous damage, but after I got it back I was told that it wouldn't be good to travel with it and such, and I have to travel, because I go to a school in the other end of my country (almost). So before and after the weekend... I travel.
Then I was talking with one of the IT guys, and I told him that Vegas was slow and so on. It came out that my computers processor was only dual core, as I actually needed a much more powerful processor for video editing. The only solution that would solve both of the problems would be to buy a new computer.
I did... good bye savings.
Now I have a awesome computer that satisfies my needs.
Therefor my Heroes MAP part has been put on hiatus for about one and a half weeks now. BUT... now all is well and I will shortly continue to animate! Yay!!!

So that's it. A short (haha, you call that short??) story about my recent doings and misdoings. I'm happy and I hope to finish Heroes before the summer ends, so I'd have time to make some short videos aswell.
I'm rising from the grave, so I will try to get some attention in youtube again.
The sad thing is that none of my old friends are active there anymore.... and youtubes design....
But I will try!

That's it for this update.
Have a nice summer!

Monday, May 18, 2015

En-The depths of the sea 

So, this is my long lost project that was never finished. Too bad, but what you're gonna do... I had new ideas and my animation skills got better, therefore I started to improve and correct it, even tough the project was still only haf way done.. I didn't get anywhere with that. (endless cycle)
I hope I'll find the time in the summer to get back on the horse (aka start animating again). I have not done anything like that for a while, yet I still have some unreleased clips and drawings. And oh, how many ideas...
Btw the video is in estonian, but I have translated the dialogues.

Just thought I'd add this old video here, since it's not here..

Est-Tee Mere Sügavustesse 
See on siis minu ammune projekt mis ei saanudki kunagi valmis. Kahju iseenesest, aga midagi pole teha. 
Tulid uued ideed ja animatsiooni oskused läksid paremaks, seetõttu hakkasin juba täiendama ja parandusi tegema, kuigi projekt oli endiselt pooleli.
Ma loodan, et saan mingi aeg ehk suvel aega ja võtan animeerimise jälle käsile. Pole tükk aega midagi väga teinud, kuigi avalikustamata klipikesi ja joonistusi on mul küllaga. Ideid veel rohkem (loendamatu hulk)...

Aga hetkel siis piisab. Avastasin lihtsalt, et seda animatsiooni ei olnud loetelus. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

Oh my...

Dear lord... what have I become.
I've been so busy with the new school and everything that ART has quietly flown away from my life. I crave to draw and do all things creative.. but my life.....  And I've kind of had an art block for a while now, so thats bad news..
Once I start drawing or once I hear music that gets my imagination going (orsmnth) there's no stoping me. Well, that's that. This blog has kind of lost it's spark (not that it has ever had spark.. but you get my point)
As for my animations... The last time I animated was sometime in 2013 and even then I didnt do much. Animating has kind of died... and I dont want it to be dead. I remember how much fun it was and how much I liked making animations... It came with restless nights aka I put lots of hard work and dedication into them, but in the end.. It was all worth it. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THIS! I promise.

Now for some good news!
I have purchased lots of art supplies! Like real stuff that painters have. And I intend to start painting! Or atleast attempt to do so!
So that was good! Right?

A new era is dawning! Be prepared .3.
My artsy side fights for survival ferociously. And that is really good! I want it to spread and make me paint and animate and do art.. I love art! I really love it. And I will never stop doing this.. Even if I have an art block of if I don't have time to do art. I'll never give up!

Just to let you peeps know a little bit about my current situation.

That's all.
Thankyou and goodnight!
Janeli OUT! bye :3

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Hugs to everyone
So. I... well this is awkward
Well... um yea. Where to start.
This blog is kind-of about my passion for art. I have drawn quite a lot in the past weeks. And I can say that I have not lost my touch. The artsy me is still in there somewhere. I have days when drawing just comes naturally.. and there are the days when I have an art Block...
Still.. There is this side to me.. Something.. I still express myself trough art. I still really love to draw! I listen to inspirational music to get my fantasy flying! I still do that. That side of me is still very much alive! And I'm proud of it. I really love to draw.. And I love to wach all kinds of animations! I love to wach my old animations! It brings back so much memories.. I'm determined to start making animations again. I don't know when or how. But I know I will do something.
I mean.. I still got it ;)
Im kind-of a perfectionist... so animating takes really really really long for me. Everything has to be perfect. Otherwise It's not. And I can't have that! So.. yeah
I'll give you something to chew on. Just wait. Give it some time :)

Bye people
Don't miss me too much :3
Be delicious

It's a collab I too took part of. The brown wolf who's howling, that's me

Sunday, December 2, 2012


Randomness is the most randomest random feeling ever... random .3.
Im having one of those crazy mood days... my mood changes constantly and currently im just plain crazy :D
eeeeeeee..... sexy ladehh!! Op op op op  Oppa gangnam style!
It's the end of the world as we know it!!! ... yeahhhh
I have no idea what the point of this post is.

I have been busy every day. And that is not going to change soon.. But when the holydays come... I have dreams.. dreams of a brighter future. :3
So keep your hopes up, and never look down. Unless you step on dog poop.. yes, then look down. Or when you drop your phone!!! ohyes. Anyway, i hope you get my point.. Nevermind all the extremley random randomness .3.

INUYUNYUN i have not forgotten you! Im fighting my computer and my teachers untill i succeed!!! :3
TO THE INTERNET! mkay... to sleep. Its late .3.
Im having a strange feeling i ate too much cake earlier
au revore pplz
chao :3


I can relate to that.. sadly

OHGOD... Nemo!!! i remembered .3.

That means good day ppls .3.
I decided this post was too pointless, so i added some pictures. :3

Friday, November 9, 2012


Help, i need somebody.. Help, not just anybody.. HELP
(yesh, The Beatles ^^)
Okay... the truth is. I am so very ashamed... InuYunYun has been waiting for my collab part.. for a VERY long time. I am so, so, SO sorry.. i'll try to make it up to you, i promise. The moment i get Sony Vegas 10 from somewhere, i'll start putting together the video.
By the way, i had some time last month, so i animated a little ^^  ..It's supposed to be a dragon.. who turns his head a bit and then starts flying... like randomly o3o
I like dragons, i like wolves
I like horses, i like cows
Janeli OUT