Wow, am I moody? I guess.. feels weird.
Anyway it is 6am and I have to work tomorrow, but I can't go to sleep. I mean, I did feel sleepy somewhere near 1am, but it's long gone now. Which is awful because I love sleeping in general. But thanks to me being sleepless, this thing was born. Well, at least I update my blog a little. Since I don't write in the horse riding blogs at all anymore (because I quit). Yes, I do not ride anymore.
Actually I've been sleepless for over a month now because I'm living in our home currently. In February I'll be moving back to the dormitory. The thought alone irritates me, because I want to get out of there already. Luckily I'll finish school in June. I can't wait for that to be over. Well, Uni will be next, but that will be far better than that school. I am tired out by the people and life there. I just want to crawl onto my bed, find the darkest corner and hide under my blanket. I really do.
So, having more free time, living at home, celebrating the holidays a little.. I can allow myself to be up late because I am able to catch up on my sleep afterwards. ANYWAY this blog isn't supposed to be about me complaining and blabbering on about my weird life.
This would be the artsy part now!
The part that is actually the theme of this blog thing.
Finally huh? Okay...
As of now I have completely hit a brick wall with the Heroes project. I am thinking of giving up the second part because it is quite clear that I won't finish that. I am even having my doubts about the first part being finished since I have lost my motivation... I made it really complicated and dragged it along for too long, and bam... this happened. Actually this is typical for me. I either overdo it and make it too complicated (therefor it starts to drag and I lose interest) or I just lose interest over time. I am capable of focusing very much and I do have plenty of patience... but lack of motivation or inspiration is hard to overcome really.
Sitting here and pitying myself won't change anything for the better however. So I will make a last effort soon. Yet I'm afraid I'll give one part away. Oh I had such great plans for those two parts. It was all so amazing in my head. Oh well, you gotta know when to give up and move on. Can't just let it burden me forever.
As always, I've got a ton of things on my mind. Things to come, stuff I have to do, what I have to remember... plus all the random and philosophical thoughts that are daily visitors. And I basically have an existential crisis every week (if not often). My mind just decides to depress and make me wonder very frequently. It's interesting but also tiring.
Danisnotonfire talked about existential crises... before I saw his videos I didn't know what to call them. Now I know!
And I strayed off once again.
I should really draw something decent now! I haven't drawn something decent in a while. All just doodles and sketches. So this is something else to add to my ''to do'' list.
So, a recent update. Let's see how this Heroes project comes out, but hope for the best! I really do want to finish it. I worked so hard in the beginning, it would be foolish to just cast it aside. I must make an effort!!! No comfort zone for me! Getting stuck there far too often!
I just told musicpaw that I won't be able to finish my second part. I hope she(I think it's she) understands. There were fortunately enough backups, so there shouldn't be a problem with that.
Now it's all in my hands!
Bye random people!
After all I'm completely random too! So it's a great match, huh?
Here ya go, something christmasy to munch on!
Farewell to all! And to all a good night!
(pretty sure it didn't go like that)
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